The Big Year (2011)

Did you know that there really is such a thing as a “big year“?  Besides being one of the most overblown titles for something ever (in the history of ever), it is a contest based on who can see the most unique bird species within a specific geographic area in a calendar year.  On the honour system.  I repeat, on the honour system.  It is preposterous to me that in this day and age when pretty much every cell phone has a decent camera in it, the rules have not been modified to include visual or video proof.  Well, I guess, since it’s an “informal” contest, there are no rules or something stupid.

The whole premise behind the film is that it focuses on three men who set out to have a big year.  The narrator of the movie, Brad (Jack Black) is the youngest (I think?) of the three and he’s kinda going nowhere in his life, so he’s devoting a year to looking for birds.  Stu (Steve Martin) is a successful businessman who decides to retire and attempt his own big year, whilst growing more aware of his own mortality and the lives of his family.  Then there’s the reigning record holder, Kenny Bostick (Owen Wilson), smart, a bit smarmy but also endearing enough to annoy you, and a damn fine birder.

Firstly, I found the whole premise slightly stupid, but whatever.  I mean, I set out last year to average a brand new movie seen for every day of the year.  I succeeded at my #movieaday challenge, but it was no real walk in the park some movies.  Anyways, far be it for me to belittle the hobbies of other enthusiasts.  The movie was alright, but I was halfway through it when I had re-titled it in my head to The Bland Year.  There’s nothing really exciting here, but nothing overtly offensive either.

2 / 5

Cars 2 (2011)

In preparation for writing this, I re-read my old review of Cars from way back in 2006 to make sure I didn’t really repeat myself and to see how much I disliked the movie.  Looking at the rating I gave it (3.5/5) reminds me that for all the shit I give my old pretentious movie-reviewing self, I was also far too forgiving.  Or maybe I could just stomach Cars that much more than the sequel, because holy hell I did not like Cars 2 at all.

Normally I have the highest of praise for anything Pixar-related because the movies they make, make me feel.  The only things Cars 2 made me feel were depressed and dead inside.  Pretty much everyone agrees that the first Cars was Pixar’s weakest film to date, and that the only reason a sequel was made is because memorabilia and toys from the first movie continues to make hundreds of millions of dollars for Disney, because little boys like car toys.

This is a movie that maintains the original absolutely dumb premise of the cars talking/living in a world where there are no humans apparently which – again – MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE.  But, I digress.  It also contains that offensively racist comedian, Larry the Cable Guy, providing the voice for Mater, the offensively racist tow truck.  There is so much Mater in this movie, that it should not be called Cars 2 without some absurd sub-title relating to Mater being attached to it.  It also contains what I perceive to be the weakest attention to detail for a Pixar movie ever.  You look at some of the scenes with Lightning McQueen (Owen Wilson) in them, and the headlights on him appear to have all the depth of a decal.

The vocal casting continues the first movie’s tradition of catering to ethnic stereotypes whilst barely straddling the line of being racist.  That being said, I enjoyed some of the performances, and that is the only reason this movie rates at all with me.  I didn’t go into watching Cars 2 expecting something emotional like Up, but I was still hoping that it would be at least as alright as the first Cars, not the terribly hollow and moronic movie I got instead.  When the Fast & Furious Franchise is more appealing to me than a Pixar movie, you know it cannot be good by any stretch of the imagination.

This is easily the worst movie that Pixar has ever made, and hopefully will always be that way.

0.5 / 5