This Is 40 (2012)

Kids seem kinda gross. Stop having them everyone.

Directed by: Judd Apatow (I still think The 40-Year-Old Virgin is his best movie)

Written by: Apatow again

Starring: Paul Rudd, Leslie Mann, Maude Apatow, Iris Apatow, Jason Segel, Charlyne Yi, Megan Fox, Albert Brooks, John Lithgow, Lena Dunham, Chris O’Dowd, and featuring many more actors in smaller roles.

What it’s about: just like the poster says, a sort-of sequel to Knocked Up, about a married couple finding out what being 40-years-old (and not a virgin) is like

B-Movie Alternate Title: The 40-Year-Old Non-Virgins

Movie Mash Up: Pretty much a mix of all three of Apatow’s movies, 40-Year-Old Virgin, Knocked Up and Funny People

What I liked: Paul Rudd is in nearly every scene and that is fun and great and wonderful and everyone should love that because Paul Rudd that is why.  I am a huge fan of Leslie Mann’s line deliveries, her whole acting, just the total package.  She’s also a foxy lady.  Speaking of foxy ladies, Megan Fox does what we hope she does in every movie (see the .gif at the end of the review), and less clothing on her is better, as well as less of her acting abilities.  She was used the perfect amount.  Great supporting cast with great roles.  I wish Apatow would have picked a hockey team to use in the movie other than the Philadelphia Flyers, but at least it wasn’t the New York Rangers or Toronto Maple Leafs.

What I disliked: As with any fairly personal movie, the running time tends to trend a bit long.  Apatow does love his stuff, and there could be a few trimmings made to make it a better overall movie.  I don’t know if I really disliked Iris Apatow’s performance, as it felt “real” and not fake Hollywood, but it wasn’t great in the traditional sense.  The movie tends to meander at times.

Would I recommend it to anyone?: Sort of.  I thought it was great, but there are some audiences that it won’t play well for.

Rating: 4 /5

Did you just scroll down to this? How long have you been watching it? Is it tomorrow yet?

The Campaign (2012)

Directed by: Jay Roach (not a particularly great director, and while I did enjoy Mystery, Alaska and Dinner for Schmucks, his best movie is still his first, the first Austin Powers movie)

Written by: Chris Henchy and Shawn Harwell

Starring: Will Ferrell, Zach Galifianakis, Jason Sudeikis, Brian Cox, John Lithgow, Dan Aykroyd, Dylan McDermott, Sarah Baker, Katherine LaNasa and many cameo appearances.

What it’s about: an incumbent congressman suddenly finds himself in for an election fight when a surprise candidate emerges

B-Movie Alternate Title: War in North Carolina!

Movie Mash Up: The American President + The Other Guys – anything really funny or charming in either of those movies… I might have to selectively choose the movies I apply this category to

What I liked: Not a lot, that’s for sure.  There are some brief moments of funny, and all told, I didn’t hate the movie.  It is fairly inoffensive, other than some strong language which is just lazy writing.

What I disliked: There are a number of great actors in this movie, but other than Zach Galifianakis, everyone appears to just be phoning it in.  Even Brian Cox!  It’s a lazy movie, with jokes that are so easy and on-the-nose that at best it is boring and inoffensive.  Looking at the critical reaction to the film, I am surprised that it was so positively received since it is not particularly inventive or interesting or even featuring something “must-see”.  It is instantly forgettable.

Would I recommend it to anyone?: I dunno, I guess if you like Will Ferrell, go for it.  I never intend on watching it again.

Rating: 2 / 5

New Year’s Eve (2011)

I don’t have to watch these movies, you know.  I’m the movie guru martyr, I watch them so I can save you from watching them.  I’m prefacing this entire review with that because I don’t know how long I’ll go on about what a wretched, terrible, cliché-ridden, offensively bad piece of garbage this movie is.  You can look at the list of tags for this movie and see that there are numerous super-talented, overrated and up and coming actors and actresses in the cast.  You can discard all of them and replace them with anyone off the street and you’d have exactly the same amount of talent and effort that was put into the movie.

There is nothing at all surprising about any of the events or stories that take place with any of the characters.  It’s New Year’s Eve in New York City, and that is something I never ever want to experience.  Hell, I hated New Year’s Eve in Calgary, and only merely disliked the implied eventness of it here in Campbell River.  Seeing a whole movie devoted to the sheer spectacle of it all is only tolerable when Paul Rudd is in it, and even then 200 Cigarettes doesn’t really live up to multiple viewings.  However, I would gladly watch an entire day’s marathon of 200 Cigarettes than ever sit through the soulless celluloid of New Year’s Eve.  Without hyperbole, it is one of the worst wastes of acting talent ever in the history of the world.

I could itemize all the atrocities that took place, but then I’d have to go back and actually take note of them.  This is a movie that exists solely to make money, and – in my opinion – that makes it worse than any pretentious garbage that Terence Malick makes for the sake of making art.  The only reason it was made was because Valentine’s Day was such a bankable hit.  Never mind that it was one of the worst movies I’d seen ever.  I will give half a point for Zac Efron’s enjoyable onscreen presence but everything not concerning him was painful, like the hangover after a good New Year’s Eve party.  This also may be one of the most racist movies I’ve seen in awhile.  Fuck New Year’s Eve.

0.5 / 5

Rise of the Planet of the Apes (2011)

This movieaday blog has provided me with many opportunities to express certain my feelings about movies in (hopefully) no uncertain terms.  When I say that the 2001 remake of Planet of the Apes was one of the worst movies I ever saw and forever turned me off of delving deeper into the decades-long franchise, I hope that you understand how difficult it was for me to actually sit down and watch Rise of the Planet of the Apes.  Tim Burton has ruined so many things for me, and I was hoping that this film would be at the very least watchable, let alone entertaining.

When it was first announced that James Franco was going to star in it, I thought Franco had finally trolled us all, and I stopped paying attention to the existence of the movie until, well now.  Sometimes I enjoy going into a movie not having a clue who is starring in it, that way I can be pleasantly surprised at the familiar faces I’m seeing.  John Lithgow, Tyler Labine and Brian Cox fall into that category, and just a regular surprise was seeing that Tom Felton’s acting career might actually survive the end of the Harry Potter franchise.  Good for him, and kudos also for him actually paying attention to his film father in those Potter movies, Jason Isaacs, and learning how to play a sniveling toad excellently.

I’m not going to lie here, I didn’t know who I was supposed to be rooting for here, the apes or the humans.  Most of the characters are steeped in grey, very few black and white good and evil.  At the end, I was also questioning what the hell the point of the movie was, and a little research has told me that this is intended as a prequel to the original Planet of the Apes and also a set up for a new beginning of the franchise.  If the quality of those future features are at least at the level of Rise, well I could definitely get on board with that.

Special super praise goes out to motion capture actor extraordinaire Andy Serkis, as if the lead ape, Caesar, wasn’t believable or menacing enough, well the movie would have been dead in the water.  Take note Robert Zemeckis: we don’t want to see mo-capped humans, but Serkis acting as anything is completely cool and very rarely unintentionally creepy.

Even if you have no familiarity with the Planet of the Apes movie franchise, I would recommend Rise to you, as it appears to be setting a solid foundation for future box office blockbusters.

3.5 / 5

Blow Out (1981)

When it comes to Brian De Palma movies and me, well they’re kind of hit and miss.  He’s made some excellent films, and he’s also shoveled some shit out.  And he’s made films that for one reason or another, don’t age very well.  Blow Out is a very good film, but it would not play for today’s audiences.  Come to think of it, it was a box office failure at the time of its release as well so I guess it just wasn’t meant to be accepted by a mainstream audience.

Blow Out is a movie very much made for and about its time period.  With the advancements in technology and filming techniques, pretty much everything displayed as part of Jack Terry’s (John Travolta) job is obsolete.  Hell, we can record and upload YouTube videos of your stupid friends doing stupid stunts in a fraction of the time it would take Jack to piece together his sound effects into the laughably shitty slasher film he’s working on at the start of the film.  That’s not to say that we should dismiss Blow Out entirely, because it is very much a very good movie, just short of greatness.

If you haven’t seen it, I recommend it.  It’s frequently listed as one of Quentin Tarantino’s favourite films, and whatever your opinions on QT, he generally has great taste in movies.  John Lithgow gives a chilling performance that I now see replicated in his “Dexter” Season 4 arc.  However, SPOILER ALERTISH I will warn you that the incredibly bleak ending is what turned the word of mouth about the film back in 1981 to poison.  And the horrible make-up effect on Nancy Allen is terrible, even for 1981’s standards.

4 / 5