New Year’s Eve (2011)

I don’t have to watch these movies, you know.  I’m the movie guru martyr, I watch them so I can save you from watching them.  I’m prefacing this entire review with that because I don’t know how long I’ll go on about what a wretched, terrible, cliché-ridden, offensively bad piece of garbage this movie is.  You can look at the list of tags for this movie and see that there are numerous super-talented, overrated and up and coming actors and actresses in the cast.  You can discard all of them and replace them with anyone off the street and you’d have exactly the same amount of talent and effort that was put into the movie.

There is nothing at all surprising about any of the events or stories that take place with any of the characters.  It’s New Year’s Eve in New York City, and that is something I never ever want to experience.  Hell, I hated New Year’s Eve in Calgary, and only merely disliked the implied eventness of it here in Campbell River.  Seeing a whole movie devoted to the sheer spectacle of it all is only tolerable when Paul Rudd is in it, and even then 200 Cigarettes doesn’t really live up to multiple viewings.  However, I would gladly watch an entire day’s marathon of 200 Cigarettes than ever sit through the soulless celluloid of New Year’s Eve.  Without hyperbole, it is one of the worst wastes of acting talent ever in the history of the world.

I could itemize all the atrocities that took place, but then I’d have to go back and actually take note of them.  This is a movie that exists solely to make money, and – in my opinion – that makes it worse than any pretentious garbage that Terence Malick makes for the sake of making art.  The only reason it was made was because Valentine’s Day was such a bankable hit.  Never mind that it was one of the worst movies I’d seen ever.  I will give half a point for Zac Efron’s enjoyable onscreen presence but everything not concerning him was painful, like the hangover after a good New Year’s Eve party.  This also may be one of the most racist movies I’ve seen in awhile.  Fuck New Year’s Eve.

0.5 / 5


About SkoochXC
Long-time blogger, Canadian, cine-snark-aphile, Tweeter and generally lonely hearted guy.

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