Men in Black 3 (2012)

I’m getting so numb to Hollywood’s creative bankruptcy.  When it was announced that there was a Men in Black 3 movie in production, I reacted with a “WHY… oh.. of course there is.”  And inexplicably, it was a box office hit, to the tune of over $623 million.  It’s starting to appear that I am the one that is crazy, and not everyone else.  You cannot imagine how disappointing this is for me to find out.

The plotline goes like this: something happens and then time travel and impersonations and then conclusion.  Time travel is a common conceit when it comes to rebooting or relaunching a movie franchise, and I dread whatever is going to happen whenever Austin Powers 4 is inevitably made.  Okay, so Agent K (Tommy Lee Jones) ends up disappearing from the present and the only one that knows something about it is Agent J (Will Smith) so he travels back in time to fix it.  Congratulations Barry Sonnenfeld, you made “Quantum Leap: The Movie”!

Thankfully, it’s not altogether terrible, but it’s not in any way, shape, or form good.  If Josh Brolin wasn’t able to do such a dead-on Tommy Lee Jones impersonation, well it would have blown.  There’s nothing exciting about the movie.  You never get the feeling that any of the characters are in any danger whatsoever.  It’s just a boring, average movie.  I went into it thinking that at least Jemaine Clement would probably steal the show, but his character was terrible and boring and I don’t even want to write about the movie anymore.

Not good, but not as bad as I thought it was going to be.

2 / 5