Bolt (2008)

Stupid cat.

Stupid cat.

Directed by: Chris Williams and Byron Howard (Howard also directed Tangled which I didn’t think much of)

Written by: Dan Fogelman and Chris Williams

Starring: the vocal cast of John Travolta, Miley Cyrus, Susie Essman, Mark Walton, Malcolm McDowell, Randy Savage, Nick Swardson, Diedrich Bader, Chloë Grace Moretz, James Lipton, Grey DeLisle, John DiMaggio, and Jenny Lewis

What it’s about: a dog raised on a TV show finds out that he has no super powers at all

B-Movie Alternate Title: The Dog Who Didn’t Know

Movie Mash Up: Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey animated

What I liked: The animation is gorgeous – especially on Bolt – and some of the scenes that don’t involve any of the characters in the movie look like real life.  Well, the movies version of real life, I guess.  I absolutely love Jenny Lewis, and honestly, there’s no reason (except that the Oscars are bullshit political garbage) that her song wasn’t nominated in the Best Original Song category.  Really, TWO songs from Slumdog Millionaire were nominated?  Idiots.  Her song still brings a bit of the old glassy-eyed reaction out in me.  The characters were fun as well.

What I disliked: For some reason, the more times I re-watch this, the less impressed I am by it.  I still think it is a decent movie, but my enthusiasm for it has dulled since I originally watched it.  Personally, I would have rather had Chloë Grace Moretz as the lead voice like they originally recorded, rather than Miley Cyrus’ fucked up nasally cigarette-infused voice.  The movie just doesn’t impact me as much anymore, but I still want a dog.

Would I recommend it to anyone?: Sure, there’s nothing offensive about the movie at all, just an enjoyable easy-to-watch romp.

Rating: 3 / 5

That is pretty adorable right there

That is pretty adorable right there

Blue Gold: World Water Wars (2008)

After watching Blue Gold, I certainly feel even better than I did before about my move to an island.  I have water all around me, and not that crazy, destructive water either!  Fuck you if you try to lay claim to it, too.  MINE.  That’s essentially the overall message of the film as well, though it’s more along the lines of “Hey, fuckos, the water belongs to the world, stop fucking with it”, although my first usage of the word “fuck” was more cussing than the entirety of the film contained.  I really need to cut down on that.

The movie is actually quite the sobering tale about the dire future our planet may have in store for it, should we not smarten up and stop doing stupid shit.  And holy crud, this movie is from 2008.  We’re doomed.  The movie presents more of a positive outlook than I paint right there, but it also has an underlying righteous anger to it, and I’m okay with that.  It’s an informative film that is making me question whether or not I should just be pouring the water from my dehumidifier down the sink.

3.5 / 5