Cosmopolis (2012)

Directed by: David Cronenberg (I vaguely recall watching The Dead Zone (something I should re-watch again), and more recently Eastern Promises and the excellent A History of Violence are the Cronenberg films I am mostly familiar with)

Written by: Cronenberg, based on Don DeLillo’s novel of the same name

Starring: Robert Pattinson (much like Woody Harrelson in RampartI am fairly certain he’s in every scene of the movie), Kevin Durand, Sarah Gadon, Abdul Ayoola, Emily Hampshire, Jay Baruchel, Juliette Binoche, K’Naan, Patricia McKenzie, Samantha Morton, and Paul Giamatti.

What it’s about: beats the fuck out of me.  I think I’m a pretty smart dude, and sometimes I watch movies that are too smart for me, or maybe they’re just altogether too smart for any audience, excepting pretentious assholes.  Maybe, or maybe I’m projecting.  I guess it’s about a day in the life of a billionaire as his fortune crumbles around him.  Maybe?

B-Movie Alternate Title: The Billionaire’s Haircut.. hmm.. that’s actually a bit too arty.  Maybe, “Billions Lost!” or “Limo Ride: THE MOVIE”

Movie Mash Up: can’t think of any off the top of my head.  It’s very Cronenberg, but not Cronenberg that I’m familiar with.

What I liked: the acting is fairly decent, particularly Paul Giamatti.  Pattinson seems to be disconnected at points, but that’s pretty much his character so… yeah.  It’s a gorgeous-looking movie, and there was some nice sexiness from Juliette Binoche.  And I like seeing Kevin Durand in movies.

What I disliked: not knowing what the fuck was going on.  I’m sure there was some sort of point to it, but when I read the Trivia on IMDb and it says that Cronenberg wrote the script in six days, I’m not entirely surprised.  It feels like a flash of inspiration that he spent six days chasing after and then – exhausted – called it done.  Many, many words are said and you can search them for meaning for ever and ever, but to me, they are just words.  Almost three quarters of the movie was me just waiting for something meaningful to happen.

Would I recommend this to anyone?: No.  I didn’t outright hate it, I understand that there may be some value to it, but I cannot sit here and say “YES, you must see Cosmopolis!”  If I can’t understand the point of a film, I can’t justify recommending it to anyone else.

Rating: 2.5 / 5

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About SkoochXC
Long-time blogger, Canadian, cine-snark-aphile, Tweeter and generally lonely hearted guy.

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