The Cabin in the Woods (2012)

The only way it would be possible for me to love him more would be if Joss Whedon were a woman.  The man can do absolutely no wrong in my eyes, and hopefully with his writing The Cabin in the Woods and the amazing success of The Avengers, the man can breathe a lot easier everyday knowing he doesn’t ever have to worry about mainstream acceptance ever again.  Not that I thought something like that would keep him up at night.

The Cabin in the Woods is pretty much what the original Scream movie was all about: revitalizing the horror movie genre from the sad, pathetic state it had lumbered into.  Cabin doesn’t have cartoonishly stupid antagonists, and the heroes of the movie aren’t dumb either.  To a point, they’re super aware of exactly what’s going on in the movie, and don’t make all the dumb horror movie mistakes.  Except when they do, and that’s mostly because they’re being manipulated by Sitterson (Richard Jenkins) and Hadley (Bradley Whitford), two um.. scientists? that have put this operation together for A Reason.  The less I explain about the premise, the better, trust me.

The writing is excellent, the characters are in some cases tropes, but wonderfully so.  This is a “smart” horror movie, and I don’t generally like horror movies.  Seriously, The Hills Have Eyes,  the Hostel franchise, I Spit On Your Grave, etc. etc. they’re all garbage.  They’re offensively terrible, torture porn at their most flattering description.  The fact that there’s a thriving market for garbage movies like those is proof enough that there are alien races out there just waiting for our eventual self-destruction so they can come to our planet and harvest our resources.  You can believe in your gods without proof, I can believe in those aliens.

It’s a near perfect movie, never mind it being one of the greatest horror movies I’ve ever seen.  Director Drew Goddard gets great performances out of the cast, the gore and tone is never disturbing, and it’s a near satire of the genre.  I rarely recommend horror movies, and those that I do recommend, well most people dismiss that because they’re “boring” and not “scary”.  Bullshit.  Psychological terror is far more potent than any stupid hillbilly chainsaw murderer.  I’m off topic here.  Watch this movie, it is great.

4.5 / 5

About SkoochXC
Long-time blogger, Canadian, cine-snark-aphile, Tweeter and generally lonely hearted guy.

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