The Dark Crystal (1982)

If I learned anything from my repeated viewings of The Dark Crystal, it’s that everything falls apart.  Relationships, lives, buildings, Skeksis, everything.  Having re-watched it as an adult, I came to realise that it is fucking terrifying, and probably had more than a little to do with me being desensitized to dark subjects when I was a kid.  Hell, if it weren’t for the existence of Return to Oz, I would crown this as the most unintentionally disturbing movie for kids ever.  Good lord, I just realised it’s 30 years old now.  So old.

This is a decidedly less light-hearted film than The Muppets movies and TV shows co-directors Jim Henson and Frank Oz were known for.  It’s also pretty much a J.R.R. Tolkein novel mixed in with a bit of mysticism and minus homo-erotic elves and hobbitses.  Jen is shown as the last of his race, the Gelflings, and he is charged with pretty much saving the universe by eliminating the evil Skeksis during The Great Conjunction.  To do this, he must heal The Dark Crystal and that’s all I’m telling you.  If you haven’t seen this movie, your parents didn’t love you enough to terrify you as a child.

The puppetry involved in the making of this movie is nothing short of astounding.  Nowadays, the entire movie would have been CGI and lifeless and boring, unless Pixar had a hand in it.  Even then, there’s a chance it could have turned out to be a soulless mass merchandising machine.  If I had a time machine, I would go back to May 1990 and tell Jim Henson that it’s really not a cold, dude, go to the hospital.  There’s so much more movie magic that could have been, so many worlds that were never created.

4 / 5


About SkoochXC
Long-time blogger, Canadian, cine-snark-aphile, Tweeter and generally lonely hearted guy.

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