Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi (1983)

Okay, I’m done for awhile with Star Wars.  Six movies in six days, well that’s a regular thing for me, but not usually six movies involving the same storyline, characters, etc.  It would be like if I watched all the Harry Potter movies one after the other for what, eight days?  And some crazy nerds watch them all in a row like lunatics!  Anyways, this is of course the final installment in the Star Wars movie franchise, unless creator George Lucas decides he needs another ivory back scratcher and makes the TriTrilogy or whatever dumb made-up name they give it.

Jedi is usually listed as the worst of the Original Trilogy (“It’s just a bunch of Muppets!”), and I’ll definitely agree with assessment.  However, I will also put it below Episode III – Revenge of the Sith because, well, it’s all over isn’t it?  When I was a kid and saw that title crawl at the beginning of A New Hope, saw the EPISODE IV subtitle, it made me wonder why the hell I had never heard of the first three parts?  Did they just suck and were never publicized?  (IRONY)  After Jedi, well, there’s no more to the cinematic story, and while the Timothy Zahn / Admiral Thrawn books were quite good, it’s not the same thing.

When it comes to the movies that have been most abused by Lucas’ desire to fuck up everyone’s good feelings towards him, Jedi suffers the worst in my estimation.  You have the ridiculous and inane addition to the Max Rebo Band, a character whose name is so stupid that I will not type it out (the large-mouthed CGI-animated Rastafarian(?) singer).  You have the living terror of further Sy Snootles animation and dancing.  After the 2004 DVD release of the Original Trilogy, you had to deal with Hayden Christensen playing the Force Ghost part of Anakin Skywalker / Darth Vader, which I will admit makes a bit of sense but poor Sebastian Shaw, man.

Now, thanks to the madness of Lucas, you have Vader completely telegraphing his turn to the Light Side (is that what it’s called?) of the Force by saying “no” then “Noooooo” before he picks up The Emperor (Ian McDiarmid) and chucks him to death.  I’m not going to sit here and Armchair Nerd the decision, but it’s just pointless to add that in.  It’s even worse if it’s a callback to the “NoooOOOOOOO!” from Sith.

After watching them in chronological order of events, I have to say that if you are going to tell your children about the existence of the Prequel Trilogy, well make sure they watch the Original Trilogy first.  Watching them I – VI spoils many events from Empire Strikes Back that are intended as surprises or shocks, so you know, maybe in essence, George Lucas did get his nine movies.  You watch the Original Trilogy, then you watch the Prequeligy, then re-watch the Originals to see how much more you enjoy them knowing about fucking midichlorians and Naboo and Trade Federations.  And goddamn Jar-Jar fucking Binks.

3.5 / 5


About SkoochXC
Long-time blogger, Canadian, cine-snark-aphile, Tweeter and generally lonely hearted guy.

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