Jingle All the Way (1996)

I am so thankful that this #movieaday self-challenge is almost over, you have no idea.  Never again will I have to force myself to watch something I don’t really have an interest in just for the sake of adding a movie to the total.  Well, I mean I suppose if I’m on a date and the lady wants to see something terrible, I might have to watch it.  Or if I ever get paid to review movies.  Okay, no matter how slim either of those possibilities seem, they still could happen.

So Brian Levant directed this movie, and the last movie I saw that Levant directed was the horrible Spy Next Door which was one of the few movies I watched this year that I gave a ZERO rating to, which means there was nothing at all redeemable about it.  Hell, the remake of I Spit On Your Grave and Ready to Rumble at least got 0.5 ratings from me, so you know SND was terrible.  Look at his IMDb Director credits.  Almost all of the movies on there that I’ve seen are uniformly terrible.  Jingle All the Way now joins that list for me.

If you don’t know the story, well Howard (Arnold Schwarzenegger) has promised his son Jamie (Jake Lloyd) that he would get Jamie a Turbo-Man action figure for Christmas.  Except it is Christmas Eve day and whoops, Howard completely crapped the bed on that promise, so he’s making a last ditch effort to redeem himself in the eyes of his son.  Except Turbo-Man is the hottest toy of the Christmas season and it is sold out everywhere.  Zany events occur.

Based on Lloyd’s acting in this movie, I have no idea how he was cast as Anakin Skywalker in The Phantom Menace.  Or perhaps that’s the first example of George Lucas slowly losing his mind.  There is some fun stuff in the movie, but that’s about 90% thanks to Phil Hartman.  Everything else seems to be more like an in hindsight 15 years ago awe.  Hell, Big Show is in it, and Chris Parnell from “Saturday Night Live” and “30 Rock”.  And Sinbad, whatever happ.. ah who cares.  It’s a bad movie, although it was just an average family film until the ricockulous parade sequence began.

1 / 5

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About SkoochXC
Long-time blogger, Canadian, cine-snark-aphile, Tweeter and generally lonely hearted guy.

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