The Stepfather (2009)

Sometimes you just have time to kill and shit all to watch.  This is how I came to watch The Stepfather, a remake of a movie from 1987.  So now it’s about 22 years until someone remakes Paranormal Activity or something like that.  Actually, the window between original and remake/reboot is rapidly closing, to the point where I’m convinced two years from now, some douche is going to remake Inception or something.  There ought to be a law.  I mean, Charlie Kaufman can’t have a monopoly on imaginative ideas, can he?

The Stepfather is pretty much what you think it’s going to be, unless you think it is going to be an entertaining, chilling, thrilling suspense ride.  Then you’d be wrong.  It’s an interesting choice to reveal Grady Edwards’ (Dylan Walsh) heinous past right off the bat, but that kind of kills all the suspense in it.  You know exactly what he’s aiming to do, and the only question is when is he going to snap or feel ready.  The cast are mostly just phoning it in, but I have a special paragraph next so I’ll just end this one.

Amber Heard.  If it weren’t for her, I’d probably rate this a 1 or 1.5, but hell, you have her running around all wet in a bikini for almost all of her screen time and you have an example of the Best Way to bump up a rating.  At least from me.  I’d give her a solid… y’know.  Sadly, she’s not into dude’s solids so… I’ll move on.

2 / 5

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About SkoochXC
Long-time blogger, Canadian, cine-snark-aphile, Tweeter and generally lonely hearted guy.

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