Wild Cherry (2009)

If you have never hard of Wild Cherry before, you are not missing out on much.  It’s a pseudo-American Pie type movie about how the high school football team all need to lose their virginities before The Big Game so they can actually win it, because apparently having drained balls equals success on the gridiron!  There was an episode of Friday Night Lights devoted to that phenomenon, right?  Anyways, it’s R-rated, but for the most sophomoric reasons.  There’s nothing edgy about it, there aren’t even any tits in it.  There are a lot of dick and fart jokes and making molds of penises and such.  It’s dumb!

Rumer Willis is in it, and she’s fairly decent, as is Kristin Cavallari, surprisingly enough.  Actually, the most surprising part is that this movie might be Rob Schneider’s best acting performance ever.  Especially if you believe him as the father of Tania Raymonde.  I do not recommend anyone watch this movie, though.  Your time might be better spent making a mold of your own penis or for the ladies, typing up a sexy email to send that dashing movie-blog writer you’ve been enjoying so much recently.

1.5 / 5

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About SkoochXC
Long-time blogger, Canadian, cine-snark-aphile, Tweeter and generally lonely hearted guy.

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